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(Click here to watch the lyric video)

Now its 1 AM, I step to the club that's all sleazy
Bouncers flexin at the door but hell they all know me
Drinks are all flowing so deep and my money spends freely
Damn I think that one girl looks like Wheezy?
But there ain't a damn thing wrong longs as you pull aside that thong
And keep your boobies wiggling and jiggling in my face all night long
So pack the bong Kong cause we got no sense of right and wrong
Came in for Flufnutter but now your leaving here with Chong
So keep the music's pumping heavy as when I walked in
I want to see that one girls hips, parked directly on my chin
And that girl over there well she's got a dorsal fin
But its better then going home surfin net for Olsen Twins
So I slide up to the stage with no protest
She's the local prom queen winner baby, no contest
So I whispers sweetly in her ears about my snakes new vest
Sisyphus? (Damn) (Snickering) Man, I thought she said Snufalupagus?
Well at least that explains the burning not only butter that is churning
I knew peanut butter came chunky but also now does urine
So we sterilize our bodies with some shots of the Gray Goose Vodka
I'm blacking out, your falling down, I'm wakin up with Chewbacca?
Now cute, she is not, but the drinks make her hot
Cant see where fresh meat starts, and what's left out to rot
I cant tell what parts are vomit and what parts are snot
But me and Jager still be tapin the whole entire parking lot

(Chorus 2x)
She's a whale of a tail from the depths of the sea
Didn't know Victoria Secretes came size husky
Four more drinks and me thinks shell be dancing just for me
Sure hope the polls don't exceed their weight capacity!

From a distance in the midst of the smoke and drunken sights
Tried to see her up on stage, but she blocked out the lights
So I turned to find a hottie but I don't think I might
Cause Carnie Wilson's Stunt Double is all I see from left to right
I felt the floor shake as she stomped the stage to give a dance
She's breathing so hard, she needs an ambulance.
But then she turned to me, and she gave a starry glance
She turned a roll of quarters to a stack of dimes in my pants
So I watch ya jiggle around, when you slide up on that pole raw
Leave a trail of grease smelling like rancid coleslaw
But when I saw, Dude, pick up your jaw!
She wants to El Kabong me faster more than Quick Draw McGraw
I could see the dollar signs deep in her eye sockets
Cause she crawled to me like she thought part of me was made of Hot Pockets
I tried to knock it covered my eyes and tried to block it
She was harrier than a Yeti scissor locking Davey Crocket
Eyes so wide I started blinking thinking I did too much drinking
Cause I'm throwing down more Lincoln's faster than the Hunley's sinking
Man, you must be joking and I know it's not an act
I can't quite explain why I'm attracted to an abstract
She's pale as death and she's got Stations head
Another excellent adventure only missing Bill and Ted
Enjoy your Bogus Journey but I'm moving straight ahead
I'm a sexy Wild Stallion going home with Right Said Fred.

(Chorus 2x)

I don't why it is I can't take my eyes off this one stripper
She got a mullet I haven't seen since Jesse and the Rippers
Just have another drink and keep on sipping on your liquor
Think I'm only trying to quicken the nine Rufee's that I slipped her
Her cellulite keeps shaking as she dances around the pole
What is that I'm looking at?!?! A seeping boil or a mole!?!?
My candy girls a red hot a lemon drop stop and roll
And I can't help but be turned on when out her mouth oozes Skoal
She's a small wonder kinda reminding me of Gidget
All and all around rotunder double take from Bridget the Midget
But Buddha play it cool if you wanna leave with the digits
Still I got to let her know that I'm too legit to quit it
Thinking Jeepers Creepers noticing her steady glancing
But now the Crypt Keepers coming and I can't stop her advancing
She's been Mmm Mmmboppin with no top while she dancing
Prancing atop the little stage hopping like that cute chick from Hanson
She says I make her horny and she into hard rough shagging
Now I think it's time to let her meet Puff my magic dragon
So then we headed to the bathroom to kick it in the last stall
Then girl I thought was Mary pulled out his peter whose named Paul ??!?!?!
There's only a few songs left so you know I'm rushing to make it quick
With this girl that's been orbiting like her name was Sputnik
Yeah I wanted her to want me and to pull a cheap trick
But I just can't believe she thought that I was really Slick Rick

(Chorus till end)

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